The Tassel is Worth the Hassle

"Familiar lagi na siya!" was the first thing that struck my mind when I entered Sampaguita classroom, on the first day of class on my first year in high school!

A girl who was standing, talking to a group of girl classmates caught my attention. She had this shoulder-length hair, average height, morena beauty and a healthy yet curvaceous body.

Just by a chance, she looked at the doorway and caught  me staring at her. For a moment she stood still, just eyeing me. Confusion was evident on her face when I waved at her. She waved back and flashed a hesitant yet warm and sweet smile in return.

Not for long, when I concerned her. I asked her, if ever we met before? Surprisingly, she felt the same way too. She looked at me intently, as if refreshing the past. I stop myself from smiling  for that time I already recalled the day I saw her, but I kept my mouth shut, waiting for her recognition. As she continued staring at me I noticed her eyes, those deep brownish eyes with long thick eyelashes, that could express a thousand words just by a mere stare.

After a short while, a rush of recognition flooded her eyes, "Tama diay! Sa Panabo noh? Katong Press Conference?"  she heartily exclaimed. And with a firm grip we shook hands.

From that instance, I found another extraordinary friend who will be teaching me more about the four letter riddle that sounds L-I-F-E.

We went on with our first year life. We were discovering more about ourselves, though there were times I just took her for granted, and there was even a moment we competed over a guy, such  funny, little crazy things which led us for a more exciting friendship.

Unexpectedly, we became classmates again in second year. Sometime in that year, I experienced a total darkness. I was scampering all around. My knees hit the rough thorny ground for several times, yet even though I was wounded I still managed myself to stand up and to stretch my hands again, badly searching for light. I was  on that total secluded, melancholic place for a long time; when from a distance a glimpse of faint light hit me. I hastily ran towards the light and reality astonished me! That, that light which illuminated my life, is in fact the fire of friendship. And she’s one of the torch bearers.

Her smile tried to tell me, "Kaya yan! Madala- dala ra nah!", It made me moved on and her stupid actions, as if in the contrary shows, "Life is not a race, take time to smile and appreciate the world around you!" It inspired me to do more than I believed I can. With my group of friends, I faced the inevitable and learned to dance with the music of Life’s irony. And another year passed; she’s still with me and I with her.

On our third year, our group was separated. Three of us were in the first section and the others, including her were assigned into another class. She entered the classroom with n apologetic smile. We became closer than ever. But life is not always in bliss when time came that our friendship was threatened for some personal reasons. There was an instance, I was irritated with her presence, and thus the rest of the group felt the same way too.

We are just humans, and certainly you cannot please everybody. For no one is perfect. And that was actually happening to us.

Our friendship was slowly sinking into the quicksand of misunderstanding. We failed  to maintain open communication. She was isolated and was left alone by the group; We stabbed on her back and even close our hearts for her pleas.

When one of my friends graduated from high school, that would mean separation, we thought things over and decided to end the the conflict between us and her. But even though reconciliation was made, the spirit of friendship was never been the same again.

I always thought life is like a fairytale, a fantasy where I’m having the lead role, but as I’m living life, as I fall and fail, as I’m showered with anxieties and miseries and every time I see my love ones suffer, my perception changes…

The magical life I used to dream and looked upon is now cuddled with thick misty clouds and the once majestic way of thinking is slowly sinking i the ocean of pessimism. If life is a fairytale, it doesn’t suppose to be like this! I mean fairy tales do have happy endings. Supposedly, I will be treated like royalty, that’s the way to treat princesses, right?

I twitched and tightly closed my eyes, when the buckle off the belt rested on the girl’s left arm. She was whimpering, as she pushed herself close to the wall in the corner of the room, as if wishing by a chance that the hard cemented wall will engulf her, to be shielded from the continuous whips.

I tried to negotiate to the man to stop the punishment. His fierce eyes with fine lines sign of aging met my gaze. "I told her to go home early, but she dis obeyed! This will serve her right!" I reasoned out but he played deaf. After the man, who was eventually the child’s stepfather, was satisfied with his cruelty, he left the bruised girl behind with one final slap.

I thought she was dead! Slowly white brilliant crystal like pearls started again to make its way to the girl’s numb cheeks, she painfully smiled and looked at me.

I stood frozen, as I stared to the pair of soulful eyes that replicate desperation, regret and complete surrender. "I just don’t want to be with him, he’s been abusing my mom, which led to her miscarriage. She’s still in the hospital fighting for her life, yet I saw him with another woman, and he even tried to take advantage of me!" She slowly blurted out; lips trembling with fear and her bloodshot eyes flashed hatred for that instance. I tried to console her, I really did, but she won’t listen. Her fists tightened as she looked at me and gently smiled.

I panicked when I realized where she’s going. I hurriedly walked out for her. I freshened up her dreams, her goals. I told her she’s a princess, just like me, that should wait for the right time. I convinced her to hold on a little more and never let go of life, like what I’m trying to do, but she dismissed me without a doubt…

She stared down the floor and slowly closed her eyes and reminisced the past. Her hands were shaking but still maneuvered to hold the long - entwined rope that was hanging in the kitchen for some reason. She bit her lower lip and whispered her love for her mother, and she did what she had decided.

I held my breath!

Isn’t life a fairytale?

Cinderella also suffered, Belle sacrificed her freedom, Ariel gave up her legs and crown, and Aurora missed almost half of her life. But why all of them ended up in a castle living harmoniously? Is it because they had chosen the right decision even though that means to sacrificed everything, or because they struggled to make the nothing into something, and they never quit?

 I lingered on that thought …I guessed life was never what I have expected. It’s never been a fairytale, and will never be, for there’s no such thing like magic or fairy god mother in reality, to make your life easy in just a snap. Yet, we can’t complain of what we’re having right now, that we can be  quiet but never will quit, because we don’t have the authority to decide for our life to be, for we are just Someone’s work of art.

I’m feeling that surging pain and my muscles cramped. Strength is slowly escaping my body as the last tear fell from my eyes from that realization. I stared at the reflection, and with all the effort I smiled, looking at the mirror, seeing myself hanging!

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